The Hamunaptra Chronicles: Ask an Adventurer

3/23/03: Session 4

Welcome back to Ask an Adventurer, where we...ask...adventurers. Yeah. Uh, here's a letter for Rick O'Connell.

Hi, this letter is for Rick.

Have you read some of these e-mails? When I read what Imhotep said about you (which is bull$%#@ by the way) I wanted to kick his bald @$$! I think you're a great guy. Tell Evy not to worry; she can have you. I just think you're gorgeous! (Don't hit me Evy!) About Jonathan, I don't know what that girl was thinking when she wrote that; you're way cooler than Jonathan. I'll gladly help you move his crap out of your house! Well, I gotta go. Love you lots!

Maggie

Hi, Maggie,

Um, thanks for the compliments. Yeah, I read those e-mails. Don’t worry about it, though, I know it’s just a bunch of crap. Keep in mind that we’re dealing with two highly unstable and egotistical individuals. Imhotep is just an ancient Egyptian home wrecker who got way too much power. He’s so proud of his undead world-takeover skills that he can’t admit when he’s been beaten. My theory is he’s got a scarab lodged somewhere where it shouldn’t be, if you know what I mean.

As for Jonathan, that guy’s always looking for a beating. His mouth spews self-absorbed garbage like a donut-eating camel on a hot day. Not to mention he would be dead by now about fifty times if I hadn’t saved his sorry neck. He can’t stand up to a dirty sink, let alone a 3,000-year-old corpse. Which brings me to my next point -- he lives in our house, free of charge, and he refuses to do any chores. He says he cleaned up his room, but I think he might be blackmailing Alex. Anyway, the point is I don’t listen to what either of these people have to say, since their both nuts.

Thanks for the letter,

Rick

In hibyu setnah!

Oh no, old Organ-breath is babbling irately again. So, uh, Rick...buddy...you didn't mean that, right? I'm sure you didn't mean that.

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